You would think that women in the late 80’s would have a fair shake when it came to divorce but that was not the case for me.
Things I Wish I Knew
By keeping my situation to myself, I had no proof. Women keeping quiet is so common but then it’s used against you in a court of law.
I wish I had done my homework when hiring a lawyer (that’s a whole other story).
Living the life you are accustomed to is a fairytale.
What I Learned
Once I had hired an attorney, I was told that I couldn’t leave our marital house with my son or I would be charged with kidnapping.
If I left without my son, I would be abandoning him and deemed an unfit mother.
Staying was my only option.
And I was in the house with a very, very angry person.
I’m sure he didn’t really like me, he just didn’t like to lose.
I was cut off financially and didn’t receive a dime from my spouse until our divorce was finalized.
We had a bank line of credit that my name was on and I put that money in my own account. It’s what Kenny and I lived on for a very long time. I paid it all back when the house was sold so there was a period of time that he did not provide a dime for me or Kenny.
Things Only Got Worse
Once I wanted out of the marriage, the situation in our house only got worse. I finally started to call the police but other than documenting the call they were little to no help to me.
At one point I got an order of protection and I was safe in my home. It only lasted for about 48 hours.
He had the best lawyers money could buy and he was back home before the ink was dry on the order.
At that time in the state of Illinois when you file for divorce, you are typically ordered to participate in court-ordered mediation (marriage counseling).
Our therapist was a lovely lady who was the one who actually helped me get out of my marriage.
Most of our counseling sessions were one party saying all the right things to make it appear that they were the wronged person in the marriage.
It wasn’t until a really rough night when I showed up for our counseling session covered from head to toe in bruises. He never showed up. She took pictures of me and told me that I needed to leave. She did what she needed to do to get me out of the house with my son and the divorce proceeded.
Peace & Love,
Some of My Favorite Things
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- The Introduction
- My Parents and Their Friends in the 60s
- A Lonely Kid
- The Day I Ran Away TO Home
- The Tornado
- Moving Away from My Friends
- The Summer of 1975
- Living with the Devil
- After the Summer of 1975
- The Wedding
- Newlyweds and 2 New Houses
- A Baby
- Behind Closed Doors
- Living the Dream
- Four Tumultuous Years
- My Sister
- Fast Forward To Today