Planning an Intimate Backyard Wedding as a Parent: A Vintage Celebration Full of Meaning

We hosted an intimate, vintage-inspired backyard wedding for our daughter that was full of heart and incredibly personal. We cooked all the food ourselves, stayed within budget, and created meaningful moments that let us truly be present with the couple. A year later, they had a larger celebration — but this day will always be our favorite.

Turning a Dream Date into an Intimate Celebration

Our daughter Annie had always dreamed of getting married on July 26th – as it was my parents’ wedding anniversary. The stars aligned in 2021, as that date finally fell on a Saturday after many years. She had her groom and she had her dress, but due to Covid-19, she suddenly had no venue.

Countless couples faced this same dilemma during the pandemic; many, from Beverly Hills to the Hamptons, opted for intimate backyard celebrations in lieu of traditional venue.

“Father of the Bride”

Being huge fans of the 1991 film Father of the Bride (starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton), we took inspiration from its heartwarming at-home wedding vibe. We decided that an intimate wedding in our own backyard would be perfect for Annie’s big day.

Unlike Father of the Bride’s beleaguered dad George Banks – the character Steve Martin portrays as a businessman who becomes comically flustered while he and his family prepare for his daughter’s lavish wedding – “Handy” was in lockstep with me throughout all the preparations. And unlike the fictional Banks family’s blowout event with its wedding coordinator, florist, caterers, and hundreds of guests, our real-life version was a true DIY affair. It was just “Handy” and me doing everything, and our guest list would be maybe one-tenth the size of Annie Banks’ movie wedding. We didn’t need a swan-dotted extravaganza or 250 attendees; instead, we focused on making a meaningful, safe, and beautiful day for the small circle of loved ones who could join us.

We poured our hearts into transforming the yard for what we fondly called “the best little backyard wedding ever“. Every weekend leading up to the date, “Handy” and I were out in the yard – weeding, planting flowers, mulching, stringing lights, and refinishing outdoor furniture. What could have been a disappointment turned into a labor of love.

Each detail, from the handpicked flowers to the homemade vintage door entrance to our outdoor chapel, carried special significance. In the end, our daughter’s wedding day was everything she’d hoped for and more: intimate, unforgettable, and filled with the kind of warmth and personal touches that no fancy venue or big-budget planner could ever replicate. It truly was a celebration based on a love story – not just the Hollywood kind we admired, but our own family’s real love story that made this day possible.

How a Small Backyard Wedding Gave Us Everything We Didn’t Know We Needed

If you’re planning a wedding and feeling overwhelmed by big venues, large guest lists, or rising costs, we encourage you to take a step back and consider something simpler — and more meaningful.

Hosting a small backyard wedding can be incredibly special. It allows you to be fully present with the people who matter most. You won’t be pulled in 100 directions or racing through a rigid timeline. You’ll actually have time to connect, laugh, cry, and enjoy the day.

The intimacy of a backyard setting creates space for heartfelt conversations, relaxed pacing, and truly personal touches. It’s not just more budget-friendly — it’s emotionally rich and refreshingly low-pressure.

What began as a necessity for us during uncertain times turned out to be the most beautiful gift. And we’ve come to believe that more couples might choose this path on purpose — not because they have to, but because it offers something bigger weddings often can’t: authenticity, connection, and lasting joy.

How We Styled a Budget-Friendly Small Backyard Wedding

One of the most fulfilling parts of this backyard wedding — especially as parents — was how we were able to create a beautifully styled, vintage-inspired event without overspending. By blending resourcefulness, creativity, and a whole lot of love, we turned our home into a venue that felt magical.

We handled all the food and beverages ourselves, setting up a cozy bar in our greenhouse and hiring a bartender to keep things flowing smoothly. We built a charcuterie table for appetizers, sourced the cake from a local bakery, and asked a close friend to man the grill for the main course: steak and lobster. I planned and prepared an upscale menu ahead of time, and we brought in help to assist with serving and cleanup so we could truly enjoy the day.

The table settings were one of my favorite details. I used our own collection of white dinner plates, silverware, and crystal, and layered in vintage salad plates and teacups I’d gathered from thrift stores, antique markets, and even Facebook Marketplace. Each teacup held flowers and was topped with a small wooden name tag — a sweet, simple touch that added so much charm. Dollar store chargers gave the place settings a finished look without added expense.

We were lucky to find a local rental company going out of business, which allowed us to purchase all the linens, chair covers, and ties for a fraction of the cost. We already owned the tables and chose to buy chairs, knowing we’d reuse them for future events. “Handy” even built the dance floor from reclaimed pallets — once painted, it looked completely polished and professional.

But the true showstopper was the garden. We’d spent two summers working on it, originally to host a rehearsal dinner — not realizing it would become the wedding backdrop itself. That early effort paid off: lush flowers, rich greenery, and a setting so beautiful it needed almost no added décor. It was our hard work in bloom, quite literally.

The vintage charm didn’t come from a big budget — it came from meaningful objects, thoughtful choices, and the loving contributions of family and friends. It made the day feel deeply personal, beautiful, and completely us.

Budget-Friendly Vintage Wedding Details We Used:

• 🍷 Greenhouse bar setup using our own space and hiring a bartender
• 🧀 Charcuterie table made at home for elegant, low-effort appetizers
• 🥩 Steak and lobster grilled by a friend, saving on catering costs
• 🍽️ Plain white plates, silverware, and crystal from our own collection
• 🌸 Vintage salad plates and teacups thrifted from secondhand shops and used as floral centerpieces with wooden name tags
• 💵 Dollar Tree chargers added polish to each place setting on a tight budget
• 🪑 Chairs purchased (not rented) for future entertaining; tables already owned
• 🎨 DIY dance floor built from reclaimed pallets and painted for a finished look
• 🏕️ Tent rented, but linens and chair covers purchased cheap from a rental company going out of business
• 🌿 Garden as the natural backdrop, lovingly maintained over two years

The Emotional Impact of an Intimate Celebration

One of the most beautiful parts of hosting a small backyard wedding was the unexpected gift of time. With only immediate family and closest friends present, there was no rushing, no competing for the couple’s attention — just space to be fully present in every moment.

We spent real, meaningful time with Annie and Tommy throughout the day — quiet conversations, shared laughter, and heartfelt tears that we might have missed in a larger, more fast-paced setting. It didn’t feel like an event; it felt like a celebration we were all part of — woven together, not split into roles of host and guest.

The intimacy also allowed us to truly connect with Tommy’s family in a way that wouldn’t have been possible with a crowd. We sat around the table, shared stories, toasted the couple, and came away feeling like our two families had genuinely bonded.

There was so much joy and laughter — we had fun. Real, relaxed, unfiltered fun. The intimacy made everything feel natural and genuine. Looking back, it was one of the most emotionally fulfilling experiences we’ve ever had as a family.

Designing and Cooking the Wedding Menu at Home

From the very beginning, we knew we wanted to serve filet and lobster. My husband, affectionately known as “Handy,” loves to grill — and his outdoor kitchen was the perfect place to show off his skills. Filet mignon and lobster tails were our way of bringing an upscale dining experience to our backyard, and it felt completely fitting for such a special occasion.

Our Wedding Menu

Main Course:

• Grilled Whole Beef Tenderloin (marinated 48 hours in advance)
• Grilled Lobster Tails with Garlic Butter

Sides:

• Cheesy Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes (prepared 2 days before)
• Classic Caesar Salad (homemade dressing and prepped lettuce)
• Fresh Croissants from a Local Bakery

Drinks:

• Pol Roger Champagne for toasts
• Red and white wine at dinner
• Custom cocktails tailored to each guest
• Soft drinks and non-alcoholic options

How We Made It All Happen

We marinated the beef tenderloin two days ahead and prepped the lobster tails the day before, so everything was ready to hit the grill at the perfect time. “Handy” and his friend handled the grill like a pro while our amazing helpers assisted with plating and serving.

I made my cheesy mashed potatoes casserole two days before and stored it in the fridge. On the day of the wedding, one of our helpers simply reheated it in the oven — it came out hot, creamy, and perfect. The Caesar salad was the groom’s request, so I made the dressing the day before, and washed, chopped, and bagged the lettuce in advance. This allowed for our help to  toss everything quickly and easily right before dinner.

We sourced croissants and the wedding cake from a local bakery — they arrived fresh that morning and added a beautiful touch without the effort of baking ourselves.

As for beverages, we really leaned in. Hosting at home meant we could splurge, so we chose Pol Roger Champagne for the toasts and served both a bold red and a crisp white wine with dinner to complement the filet and lobster. We even asked each guest ahead of time what their favorite cocktail was — and made sure we had the ingredients to serve exactly that. It was a hit and made everyone feel seen and celebrated.

We had all beverages and ice delivered the morning of the wedding, already pre-chilled. Between “Handy” on the grill and our helpers managing the kitchen and bar, I didn’t have to lift a finger on the day of — and I was free to enjoy every single moment.

Helpful Hosting Tips for Cooking Your Own Wedding Menu

• ✅ Plan a menu you’re comfortable executing — don’t experiment the week of.
• 🕒 Prep as much as possible in advance — salads, sides, marinades, and sauces.
• 🧊 Use refrigeration wisely — pre-chill drinks and store items in order of use.
• 📋 Create a timeline and task list — meet with your helpers before the event.
• 🔥 Grill or finish main dishes during cocktail hour for freshness and drama.
• 🥂 Splurge on one or two key things (for us, it was Champagne and lobster).
• 🍽️ Combine homemade with store-bought — bakery items can save time.
• 🍸 Offer personalized drinks — it adds charm and shows you care.
• 💗 Most importantly: delegate! Enlist help so you can enjoy the moment, too.

What It’s Like to Host a Small Backyard Wedding as a Parent

Looking back, hosting our daughter’s wedding at home was one of the most meaningful things we’ve ever done as parents. It wasn’t just about creating a beautiful event — it was about being fully present, involved, and emotionally connected from beginning to end.

With a smaller guest list and no outside venue rushing us along, we were able to truly savor the day. We weren’t just the hosts or the parents-of-the-bride — we were participants in every single moment. From morning setup to the final toast under the tent lights, we got to live it all with them, not just witness it.

It Was All About Family

There was something deeply special about watching our family come together in the home and garden we’ve worked so hard on. The space wasn’t just pretty — it was personal. Every detail reflected us and them: the food we love, the flowers we planted, the tableware passed down or lovingly thrifted, and even the dance floor built by my husband.

Getting to know our new extended family in such an intimate setting was another unexpected gift. There was real conversation, not just surface-level introductions. We laughed together, told stories, and truly began to feel like one family.

And perhaps most meaningful of all — we didn’t miss a thing. There were no distractions, no “back-of-the-room” roles. We heard every word of the ceremony, sat down for dinner, toasted the couple with happy tears, and danced under the stars.

To cap it all off, “Handy” had planned a surprise fireworks display to end the evening. Just as everyone thought the night was winding down, the sky lit up with bursts of color and light. It was magical — unexpected, joyful, and the perfect finale to a day already overflowing with love. There were gasps, cheers, and more than a few happy tears. It’s a moment none of us will ever forget.

It wasn’t perfect because it was Pinterest-worthy. It was perfect because it was ours.

Why We Had a Second Celebration After Our Small Backyard Wedding

One year after the backyard wedding, we hosted a second, larger celebration to include extended family and friends once it was safer to gather. And while it was wonderful to see everyone and celebrate again, I’ll be honest — it was also far more stressful, both for me and for the bride.

The intimacy and ease of the backyard wedding had set a high bar, and managing a much bigger event made us both realize just how special that first day truly was. In fact, after that second celebration, I wrote a whole post about how I should have hired a wedding planner — because doing it all ourselves twice was a bit much.

In retrospect, we sometimes wonder if we should’ve just embraced that one perfect day and let it be enough. But hindsight is 50/50.

Backyard Wedding Tips from Our Family to Yours

• 🏡 Start early with your outdoor space. Give yourself time to plan, plant, clean up, or make any improvements well ahead of time.
• 🍽️ Choose a menu you can prep in advance. Make-ahead dishes and hiring just a little help can go a long way.
• 🍷 Splurge on what matters most. For us, that meant quality food, beautiful wine, and personalized drinks.
• 💐 Mix old and new for charm. We used vintage dishes, dollar store chargers, and family crystal — it looked stunning.
• 🪑 Rent smart, buy what you’ll reuse. We bought chairs knowing we’d host again and scored linens from a rental company going out of business.
• 🎶 Let family contribute their talents. A playlist from the maid of honor and a friend on the grill made everything feel collaborative.
• 🧾 Assign roles early and clearly. Meet with your helpers ahead of time, and give everyone written instructions.
• 💡 Expect the unexpected — and enjoy it anyway. Things may not go perfectly, but that’s part of what makes it real and memorable.
• 🎆 Add one unforgettable surprise. “Handy’s” fireworks display was the perfect way to end the night with magic.

We’d Love to Hear From You

Have you hosted (or are you planning) a backyard wedding? We’d love to hear your stories, tips, or what made your day feel extra special. Drop a comment below — your experience might inspire someone else!

And if you’re in the middle of planning and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. You can browse more of our real-life wedding and entertaining posts [here], or subscribe to get new ideas and behind-the-scenes stories delivered right to your inbox.

Thanks for being here — and for letting me share a day that means the world to our family.

Peace & Love,

If you’re looking for a step-by-step guide to hosting an outdoor wedding, I’ve written a comprehensive post HERE with all the details.

Photography Courtesy of Chelsey Barhorst Photography

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